Maybe it’s me..

How do you ever know if what you’re fighting to keep is worth keeping? If you have to try so hard to make yourself happy in the relationship, should you keep trying? What if they were once the only person who could make your day 100% better? If they made you feel so incredible, the happiest you’ve ever been in your whole life? Why does a love so amazing fizz out? 

I ask myself these “what if” questions more and more frequently… Maybe that should be my sign, but I can’t just give up. Four years of being with someone I could see myself marrying, someone who I used to have no doubt would put my happiness before his own, someone who would do anything for me… I used to feel on top of the world with him, and now I’m lucky to feel like I’m on a step stool.. Maybe I’m too selfish. Maybe I’m too hard to deal with. Maybe it’s me… I’m hard to deal with, I know that. I’m anxious, I’m stressed, I’m used to getting my way all the time, I have my own problems. Maybe I’m expecting too much. Maybe I’m waiting for a fairytale, that doesn’t exist. I know things aren’t like when we first fell in love, we’re not in high school, we have jobs. But is it really too much to ask for the same in return?  

I do so many little things to try to get him to notice… Never notices a thing. I have a same day surgery tomorrow (my first surgery and one of my biggest fears, not that he would ever know that), and I know he has things on his mind, but instead of getting drunk tonight I thought he would appreciate how nervous I am for the morning but no. He has friends over, drinking some beer, hasn’t even talked to me about my surgery… I made sloppy joes and mac & cheese, hoping he would come home and realize that I made food HE loves even though it’s not one of my top 50 choices, but he didn’t.. It’s in the trash. Maybe I’m just selfish. 

I just wish I had more faith in him being at the hospital with me facing my biggest fear, but I’m a big girl right? I can do it all alone.. 


Two in One post…

Marc Jacobs Lip Liner & NARS Lipstick: I LOVE THIS COMBO!!

These are now my everyday go to lip color, and I was one of the people who thought they’d never use a lip liner. I love everything about the Marc Jacobs lip liner. 

Marc Jacobs Lip Liner


 I can’t even begin to explain how much I love this lipstick. I SO understand why everyone loves NARS lipstick now. The color, the formula, the smooth application, everything! It does have a funny smell though, not that that is a major concern. When these two products are used together, I just can’t even explain, so here’s a picture ;). 
hey its me


Kay Von D studded lipstick 

I was super excited about this! I bought this in addition to the nude lip box, but I was really excited to try the liquid eyeliner too. However, due to my awful experience with liquid eye liner, I’m not going to review that product. I’m not good enough with liquid eye liner to review a post for everyone to judge on. 

I love the bright pink color of this lipstick. However, I’m not too crazy about the glitter in it. It’s not as gritty feeling as some lipsticks with glitter, but I’m still not a huge fan. BUT the color is great and it’s definitely a long lasting lipstick. 

Kat Von D, studded lipstick in Magick

I would love to have this lipstick in a different shade though. It’s very bright and I tend to stay with darker shades. I still love the color though.  

Tarte Lip Paint

nude lip box

Part of my most recent purchase from Sephora, I picked this sample box of different shades and brands of nude lip products. There were a total of five different products in the lip box. 

This post is focused on the Tarte lip paint.  I really like the shade of the lip paint. The texture is sort of different, but it isn’t something that would push me away from the product. It’s a very creamy formula, I think. 

Tarte Lip Paint
tarte lip paint

It lasts a very long time, even with eating and drinking. I was impressed. Overall, the color is my favorite. I’m not a huge fan of the creaminess of the lip paint, but that’s my personal preference. (there’s no name on the sample and I didn’t take a picture of the box…..Opps.😅)  *UPDATE: It’s called Namaste.” 😊

Fresh Soy Face Cleanser and Rose Face Mask

If you’ve ever ordered from Sephora, you know you get 3 free samples with your purchase, which is where these came from. 

THANK GOSH I didn’t pay money for these! Given that everyone’s different and I’m sure some people love these products, and truthfully I’m sure I’d like different products from this brand, but I did not like these at all. 

First, the soy cleanser. It was clear and sort of runny. It did make my face really soft, but I didn’t like the smell. It also didn’t impress me with clearing my skin or anything, but I did only have a sample size so I didn’t use it very long either. 

Second, the rose face mask. I love face masks, so I was really excited to try this when I chose it from the samples. My biggest turn off from this was the color and texture. Look at it….


Rose face mask…

It was brown and had real rose petals which might be okay for some people, but to me it just made me feel like I was wiping mud all over my face. It didn’t smell great either. 😩 These were both total let downs for me, but as you can tell it was mainly aesthetic features for me. 

Mascara review

Okay I’ve totally been slacking on my reviews, I’ve been meaning to write this for like two weeks. Anyway, I’ve been so excited to write this! Mainly because I am SO picky with mascara. My eyelashes are of course blonde and SHORT. *rolls eyes* 

This review is of Too Faced’s Better Than Sex mascara. I love love love this mascara! I have not used any other mascara since I tried this gem for the first time. It makes my lashes so much longer and adds enough volume without making my eyes look like there is only three lashes. 

Don’t act like you’ve never seen another persons mascara that clumped together….. 

I think pictures will be the best way to understand why I love this mascara so much, so here they are! Before… (Ignore how puffy and red my eyes are-long night.) 

no mascara, no eyeliner, before Too Faced Better Than Sex mascara


after applying mascara, i do have eyeliner on, but you can still tell the difference!

Ahhhh, so much difference! If you’re anything like me, you love a good go-to mascara, and this is definitely my go-to! 

(Sold at Sephora) 


First up…

Urban Decay’s Mattifying Powder! Let me start off by saying that I LOVE Urban Decay products. I haven’t found a product I haven’t liked of theirs, so maybe I am a little biased. Anyway, I was a little sceptical of buying this because my skin gets so oily so fast, and all the products that claim to be “oil absorbing” or something of the sort, never ever work. 

I started by wearing the Mattifying powder over my foundation to work a few times, but that’s a little too hopeful to keep my skin non-shiney after 8 hours of being around grease in a hot little building. 😩 So anyway, I finally tried the powder in a realistic setting today! 

*Keep in mind, I’m not exaggerating when I say my skin is super oily.*

I applied the powder over my foundation again today around 9:30am, by 1:00pm my face looked like an oil spill, which is normal for me. So I applied the mattifying powder again, as a ‘touch up’ kind of thing. The packaging says you can apply to your bare skin, over foundation or as a on-the-go touch up, sort of like blotting papers, so I would try all the various ways to see what works for you. I personally think it works best as a touch up during the middle of the day kind of thing. I would definitely recommend this product, especially if your T-Zone gets oily like mine does.  

Before applying the powder…(this picture does not do justice for how oily my face gets🙄)


After applying the powder!
Hope this helps!